I was as miserable as anyone could imagine, after spending 10k and having nadda to show for it. I kept asking myself why? Why was I so gullible? The only answer I have is that I am 'forever hopeful'. One day I will find a wrinkle cure.
I arrived at work particularly moody a few days ago. I was feeling like I needed to lash out at someone. Just be mean and upset someone. Why should I be upset on my own. Sharing is caring, right? So why not share the misery?
What I was forgetting is that Karma happens to keep herself firmly attached to my left heel. There is no karma wheel for me. My karma is instant. I have experienced instant karma on countless occasions. I'm not entirely sure why I didn't think about this little curse of mine while I was searching for an unsuspecting victim. I tend to forget very important things like this. That's another curse I have. I forget..... a lot.
I walked out on to the playground. All the little ones were sleeping and just a handful of kids were playing on the playground. All my staff were huddled in the sun trying to defrost. A little boy came to ask me for some juice and that was when I launched my assault.
"Why are you all standing there while kids are thirsty over here?" I bellowed.
That got everyone's attention! And now that I had everyone's attention I could declare war.... me against them (I'm brave that way).
"What am I paying you for? To stand in the sun? - Kids are thirsty here - get here and fix this, all of you!" I shouted, looking as angry as I could make myself.
"I won't have laziness here," I continued, "I won't stand for it! - If you want to stand in the sun you can do it at home, not while you're on my time!" With that, I stormed off to my office. My long jersey-coat-thingy flying behind me. I felt powerful (and much better actually) I felt like a super villan. Wonder Witch - yes, I was Wonder Witch!
I can't think of a time that I have ever seen people more confused. The poor women had no idea what had just happened. All four had run forward to attend to one child and all four were fighting over the cup to pour him juice. They were rattled. They were looking at each other with questioning expressions. But no one said a word. They served the juice, patted the boy on the head and went back to their spot in the sun completely dazed by my attack.
Once in my office again, I realized I needed to visit the lavatory . This is a very happy event for me as I have a very slow, lazy 'constitution'.
As I sat on the throne and started my business I was relishing in my sly and cunning assault. I snickered and smiled an evil smile. Now we were all upset. Yay, I was no longer 'suffering' alone. Finishing up, I reached out at the toilet roll holder and there ........ where the toilet paper usually sits.......... sat karma.
What on earth was I going to do now?
Since I'd just pissed everyone off I was stuck. I couldnt exactly call them to bring me bog roll.
Karma sat there laughing at me, laughing so hard she was snorting. Oh this was dreadful. I couldn't think. I was overcome with embarrassment. I couldn't exactly sit there all afternoon either - I had to do something. But what?
"Ok, ok... just let the dust settle for about 20 minutes." I thought to myself. "Then I can call Chante."
Chante is my youngest, most forgiving member of staff. But how was I going to call her without letting anyone else know I was embarrassingly stranded in the lav?
"Ah ha, I'll phone her." I thought.
And so I did.....
"Hello lovey" I said as sweetly as I could muster, when she answered her phone.
"Are you okay, Aunty Nat" She asked, obviously hearing some desperation in my voice. (I just can't hide these things)
"No, I'm not sweety!" I said.
"Im very upset today and it's not your fault so I'm really sorry for shouting, but more importantly I need some loo roll right away. Will you bring me some please?"
"Of course Aunty Nat" she said "I'll be there right now." I cannot begin to express how dear this young girl is. She saved me that day. But you can be sure she had a great big 'behind my back' giggle.
I may never have seen her laughing but I know she did. She laughed and laughed, I'm sure of it. And as for instant Karma..... she got me again. And she laughed too. She laughed and laughed and laughed.
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