Patience is a virtue

For as long as I can remember, my mom has always said she believes that in this life time of mine I need to learn the art of patience. I think she's quite right - Patience is very far,(actually light years away),  from being one of my strong qualities.

After my unplanned suicide attempt with the bandage I thought better of it leaving my wrinkle problem in my own hands. Sometimes it's just best to let professionals do their jobs! So I went back to Dr Evil.

"Just pump me full of fillers!", I spat out.
"You are going to love this!" she exclaimed, trying to cheer me up.  "It makes a beautiful subtle difference. No one is going to know what's different, but everyone will notice a fresher more beautiful you!"  "This" she continued, "is much better than a face lift!"

The injecting started - I'm no sissy, but let me tell you, I felt a level of pain I was not prepared for. Jaw clenched and tears stinging my eyes, I lay there for almost an hour while she moved her little injection around and filled my face.
"Yes, yes, beautiful!" she said, every time she had finished an area.
"Well it better be," I kept thinking to myself. All this pain and all this money ... If I don't walk out of here looking like a 20 year old I may just have a coronary.

When she was done she handed me the mirror - "Just look" she said - "There is already a big difference."  I looked hard but couldn't see anything apart from the red dots from the needle pricks, and a not so pretty blue bruise on my chin.
"Wait for two weeks for the full effect and drink plenty of water in the meantime!" she instructed!
"Wait? What? Water? Is this woman mad?" I thought.
Perhaps she should have mentioned having to drink water after the procedure before she started.
I can't drink water. No! I have been preconditioned to live a very 'dry' life!  Water I cannot do!

Dreadful memories of my bed wetting days flooded my mind!
My poor folks tried everything. Star charts, presents, waking me up in the middle of the night, urologist visits - you name it!
Nothing worked - So they were left with no alternative but to seriously restrict my fluid intake!
They started off by saying that I couldn't drink anything after 6pm.  That didn't work - so they changed the time... nothing to drink after 4pm. That didn't work either.
Eventually, in a desperate attempt to help me wake up with a dry bed, my fluid intake was seriously restricted - all day, every day!
I eventually stop wetting the bed but got quite used to living the life of a camel, going extended periods without anything to drink.
At 42 years of age Dr Evil now wants me to learn a new trick!  I don't think so! I am a camel - not a puppy!
I just can't start wetting the bed again  - not now!
My marriage has survived many things: Fat wife,  thin wife, sane wife, crazy wife, lazy wife!
But bed wetting wife? No! I'm not prepared to put this one to the test! I could not put my marriage through the horror of bed wetting! NO!

It's been two weeks since I had my fillers. Has anyone noticed? NO!
Can I see a difference? NO!
Am I drinking water? HELL NO!
Has this caused me to waste a lot of money? HELL YES

So here I am - Not only am I still wrinkled but I'm out of pocket too!
On the bright side - I haven't wet the bed. I am thankful for this small mercy!

Toodles xx