Out of the mouths...

See me,wrinkle free!

When I was younger working with kids was really awesome for my ego. More often than not, the little beauts would make me feel so good about myself. They would say the sweetest things.

"Good morning teacher, I like your dress!"

"Good morning teacher, your hair is so soft."

"Good morning teacher, you are sooooooooooo pretty."

"Teacher, one day when I'm big I want to be a princess just like you!"

I loved the compliments. I thrived on them.

Now, when I think back on all the beautiful compliments the kids used to pay me I just want to crumple in to a ball of suicide and cry my eyes out! You know, cry the ugly cry - snot dripping, face contorted and voice all pitched and hoarse at the same time. The little buggers never compliment me anymore. I can't remember when last I was told by a 4 year old that I am pretty!  I could blame the parents and say that modern day folk don't teach their kids any manners, but the fact of the matter is I don’t know that for a fact.  I would hate to start a rumour based on an assumption so I'm just going to have to go with..... I've got old and little kids don’t think old is pretty.

A 13 year old asked me how old I am.

“How old do you think I am?” I responded.

I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I answered his question with a question. I walked straight into his dreadful response.

“A HUNDRED” he shouted out his guess.

It was hard not to retort. I desperately wanted to tell him that I didn’t like his shoes and that he had ugly hair and his pimples made me feel sick, but I behaved, literally biting my tongue.

“Good guess”, came my bitter reply.

“Teacher, are you a granny?” a 5 year old asked.

Another ambush that I walked straight into. There really is something wrong with me! I’m some sort of sucker for punishment.

“No sweetie, I’m not a granny. Why do you ask?”

“Because you look like one!”

Why couldn’t I just have responded with a NO? Why did I have to ask?

And, whoever it was that made it illegal to lock kids in boxes - I hate that guy. I really, really hate that guy.

“Teacher, what are all those things on your face.”

“Do you mean my freckles?”

“No, those line things!”

What I really wanted to spit back at this 6 year old was that the lines were proof that I’m not a sour puss like her mom! But again I bit my tongue, put my hands (that I was envisaging around her neck) in my pockets and smiled sweetly….

“They are the stripes that I’ve earned for being a really cool person.”

So the last 5 or so years have been very much ‘compliment free’ years. My ego has plummeted and I feel so rotten about aging and my wretched wrinkling. I have really low self esteem because I place such high value on how four year olds perceive me. (Yes… I know…. There’s something really wrong with me.)

But in my own defence, if you consider that the age of the people I spend the best part of most days with is between 2 and 13 years, what else do you expect!

And then, a compliment came in the way of a picture….

A totally unintended compliment I’m sure, but I’m grabbing it, using it, holding on to it and boosting my ego with it.

“Teacher Nat, I drew this picture for you!” said 7 year old Mpho. “It’s a picture of you with your wolf.” she explained.

I took the picture from her and scanned across the page.

“It’s beautiful my darling!” I exclaimed, holding back tears.

“It’s really, really beautiful!”

I was deeply touched -A compliment at last.

She had drawn me without wrinkles!

Currently I have enough ‘self – e – steam’ to run on for as long as the Prestik keeps the picture hanging on my office wall. I will really be putting the stick-span of Prestik to the test.   

Toodles

xxx